He Told Me He Used To Have The Heart of a "Little White Girl" Too Like I was Sposta' Be Ashamed or Gooner!
Joshua Merchant | Poetry
I suppose accountability 
is only slippery when my name 
is lodged between the only home  
I am safe to claim. stroke your ego  
slowly my friend. we can’t all  
make money if you’re constantly  
dehydrated, said the little girl  
in my head. she died shortly after  
while trying to be swallowed. please  
cover your ears, I don’t want someone 
more natural to get offended. violence is  
a careful tongue. and a flock of white women 
is called a splooge. and my birth was the blessing  
of having my memory wiped clean. I was nothing  
before you went down on me. grew two sizes larger  
when you let me hold you. I am cured. I am yours  
for the taking. I’m real now.  
Joshua Merchant (THEY / THEM / THEIRS) is a native of East Oakland exploring what it means to be human. A lot of what they explore is in the realm of love and what it means while processing trauma, loss, and heartbreak. They’ve come to recognize with harsh lessons and divine grace that without showing up for ourselves and each other, everything else is null and void. You can find their work in Anvil Tongue, Spiritus Mundi Review, Rigorous Mag, and elsewhere. They’ve had the honor to receive the 2023 San Francisco Foundation / Nomadic Press Literary Award for poetry.