my body is a shameful wonder
I’ve spent months hiding from it
dashing from mirrors  I touch my hips
and don’t think of lovers         but rather
the feel of tightness or compression
grasp my belly            observe an eruption
of darkening dimples 
I can’t remember a time I lived 
in my body without apology
for its breadth   my thighs peeking below
their own impatient country    at dinner
with friends last night  I said laughingly
I want the world to want me
and know in this moment        I dare anyone
to turn away from this fat budding marvel
I crave pleasure          a crescendo
that holds the root of me         sweating and real      
my fat a jubilation       god      let me know worship  
god      give me desire           god     
let me drown in it        the funk heat of wanting
another woman’s eyes trained on me
remembering the possibility of my flesh
let me know that in the hot hours of a summer
morning           someone lays staring at a closed ceiling
thinking not of food     drink or taxes
but just of me              their god         their ax
their cudgel     their kink        my unending bounty