
XO
Chelsea Christine Hill | Poetry
The X, in days of holy rule, could tell a man
where to press his lips to parchment. Then,
versions of the Immaculate Heart showed
Mary courting it in hand, or gesturing, palm
flat, to her flaming chest. The day Elliott Smith died
I was 13, in detention, in Texas, linking names
with ♥s on college rule. I kept love notes—
folded, pencil smeared—in a box beneath my bed.
No bed of fire or attendant angels. No X to dash
off desire’s farewell bid. Before I wrote love
poems, I burned CDs & replayed XO, never tired
of You’re no good, you’re no good, you’re no good
across my lips. Under a room’s fluorescent grid,
scalpel catching light, our teacher said the cardioid
is common in nature, & we’d make our Xs on
the hearts’s small rooms. When I hear of Smith’s
death, later, in California, I imagine a cross tilted
into the valve. Sword in the chest. & if
we are to believe Baudrillard, then when I hear
Smith musing, faint, from my jacket, in class, it is like
every undelivered note I’ve ever written aflame
in your hand. & I’ve never told you: when I held
the sheep’s heart, I imagined my hidden ♥s
&, ashamed, put my finger in every O that I could find.
Chelsea Christine Hill is from Houston, Texas. Her work appears or is forthcoming in Gettysburg Review, Colorado Review, Gulf Coast, West Branch, and elsewhere. A recent graduate of the University of Illinois’s MFA, she is a current doctoral student in the Committee on Social Thought at the University of Chicago.