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No Hand to Save Her 

Leila Farjami | Poetry

Forgive me, Father Almighty  
           for surviving              the first riptide.  
I thought       I was meant to live   when my fingers 
                                                                      raked wet sand.   
I rose  
           from clinging mud,  limped home— 
                                                           what home? 
Mother drowned  
           in her cursed sea.   
                                                           No hand to save her.  
I did not want a life  
                       like hers.  
Never good              at diving deep  
                                                           into the maze 
never had patience  
                       fins, oxygen          hunger for the abyss— 
                                                              its wreckage. 
I always asked, Chera? Why? 
                                              چرا؟ چرا؟ چرا؟ 
                                   Why, why, why?  
           You didn’t like that. 
Now you ask  
                                   What has become of you now?  
I’ve turned to words   
                                   not pearls.   
           I am night sky. 
                       A gullet of stars. 
I am moon. 
           A cheek, 
                                   gnawed through.